no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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