Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
