I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Randomize
