I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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