my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We talked him into tasing himself.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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