Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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