Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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