honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity