It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.