I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.