12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
