Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
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fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
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Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit