Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  How's tricks little girl?

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Trix are for kids, old man.

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  (212): How's tricks little girl? (205): Trix are for kids, old man. http://tfl.nu/bqwt
  Replies (6) Good night (1024) Bad night (1131)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.

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  (630): i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons. http://tfl.nu/sim9
  Replies (38) Good night (5017) Bad night (878)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.

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  (330): hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival. http://tfl.nu/kgpd
  Replies (9) Good night (4571) Bad night (831)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much

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  (828): I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much http://tfl.nu/wzca
  Replies (14) Good night (1632) Bad night (3024)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car

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  (978): Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car http://tfl.nu/2swm
  Replies (2) Good night (1008) Bad night (2447)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny

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  (920): just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny http://tfl.nu/f2gi
  Replies (39) Good night (2315) Bad night (7525)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.

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  (404): like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game. http://tfl.nu/v9p4
  Replies (4) Good night (2125) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.

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  (773): Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/cuh5
  Replies (3) Good night (1444) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.

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  (336): He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time. http://tfl.nu/dr9e
  Replies (8) Good night (1248) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Post that event on your timeline

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  (812): Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina (513): Post that event on your timeline http://tfl.nu/4t95
  Replies (31) Good night (1783) Bad night (550)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music

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  (787): They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music http://tfl.nu/mg50
  Replies (9) Good night (1430) Bad night (510)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for

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  (256): He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for http://tfl.nu/28ug
  Replies (3) Good night (365) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do

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  (614): she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do http://tfl.nu/lofb
  Replies (4) Good night (358) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.

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  (404): We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops. http://tfl.nu/nz3t
  Replies (0) Good night (648) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.

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  (650): FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers. http://tfl.nu/szd4
  Replies (0) Good night (525) Bad night (188)

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