Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?