Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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