Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone

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  (954): everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone http://tfl.nu/mp6q
  Replies (9) Good night (695) Bad night (3483)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.

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  (703): I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is. http://tfl.nu/7kmq
  Replies (53) Good night (802) Bad night (3110)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be

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  (503): like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be http://tfl.nu/q4d6
  Replies (166) Good night (2112) Bad night (4003)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.

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  (720): He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible. http://tfl.nu/qdhh
  Replies (9) Good night (700) Bad night (3521)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...

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  (618): i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw... http://tfl.nu/24ry
  Replies (26) Good night (1340) Bad night (5152)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"

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  (513): hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it" http://tfl.nu/04ug
  Replies (4) Good night (5516) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.

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  (641): This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game. http://tfl.nu/44fx
  Replies (13) Good night (1559) Bad night (749)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.

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  (636): It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked. http://tfl.nu/8md6
  Replies (15) Good night (1236) Bad night (535)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..

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  (443): So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses.. http://tfl.nu/gsxe
  Replies (14) Good night (1781) Bad night (542)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.

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  (403): We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex. http://tfl.nu/5276
  Replies (9) Good night (1715) Bad night (536)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.

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  (503): Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush. http://tfl.nu/eadi
  Replies (2) Good night (955) Bad night (796)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.

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  (515): Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours. http://tfl.nu/5w5c
  Replies (5) Good night (1641) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.

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  (843): I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job. http://tfl.nu/6er2
  Replies (1) Good night (1043) Bad night (365)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.

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  (+61): I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress. http://tfl.nu/d4j1
  Replies (4) Good night (268) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.

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  (845): It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair. http://tfl.nu/3qrj
  Replies (1) Good night (420) Bad night (306)

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