Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
