Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
