Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
