Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize