i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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