just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
