Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
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Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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