His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
