My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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