i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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