..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My pussy is not your playground.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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