No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
