and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.