I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize