Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason