operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER