I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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