More tranny stories later!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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