Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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