i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She bit a glass in half.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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