I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
