he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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