found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
