i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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