How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
