I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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