So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
50% drunk capacity currently
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
