I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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