what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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