I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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