to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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