I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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