Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
