you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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