The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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