I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
