Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
