She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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