IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We are all done wearing pants today
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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