ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
