I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
