you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.