whjeg hajt iyt
wanna hang out?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome