I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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