That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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