Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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