i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
