I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
