I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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