I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize