Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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