The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
